you jane, me thor - shut up, stiles
by smileyfacebabe
Summary: Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski show up on her doorstep and demand she accompanies them to Thor 2. And for the life of her, Lydia Martin cannot regret giving in. Sort of Sterek, but sort of Stydia and sort of maybe-kinda Stiles/Lydia/Derek. Ish. Complete and utter indulgence fic. Enjoy.


AN: GUESS WHO'S GONNA SEE THOR 2 IN LESS THAN THREE HOURS. Ugh, so exciiiiiited. DARCYYYYY. Anyway, since I'm incapable of writing Thor fanfiction for some strange reason, I wrote this. Also because of a certain someone who indirectly gave me the idea. Four for you, Choas Babe, because you made Stiles/Lydia/Derek a possibility to me. Absolutely no judgement here.

AN2: It has been pointed out to me my a friend that they can't see Lydia liking or going to Thor 2. I don't care. I think she might have gone to Avengers or Thor 1 because it was popular and found herself surprised by it. But whatever. If you don't like the idea, I'm not sure why you clicked on this story. Enjoy anyway, though.

Disclaimer: I haven't actually seen Thor 2 yet. I don't know for sure that there's a CA2 trailer. I also don't own anything, especially the idea for the line "he's been in his brother more than he's been in you" because that's from tumblr. Love you tumblr.

* * *

"No," Lydia said. The door wasn't even all the way open.

"Oh come _on_," Stiles yelped. "Do you know how hard it was to get him to use the door?"

It was slightly impressive that Derek Hale was standing on the _welcome home_ mat her mother had bought last year, but she wasn't going to admit that. "No," she repeated.

Derek frowned. "You don't even know why we're here."

"Stiles is wearing something weird on his head. Whatever it is, I'm not interested."

Stiles sputtered and Derek scowl got sad. Lydia rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and tried to count down from ten in Latin. "What is it," she snapped, after the third cycle of that still hadn't made the feeling in her chest go away.

"Come see Thor 2 with us," Derek said.

"I don't like Thor," Lydia said.

"Lies," Stiles said. He adjusted his plastic Walmart bought Thor helmet and brandished Mjolnir at her. He was wearing a red cape, homemade and actually pretty good, and a tight black t-shirt. He was the skinniest, lankiest, most obnoxious Thor she had ever seen. Derek 's scowl got a little more sad, because her heart hadn't skipped a beat.

"Do you know how inaccurate those comics are," she said. "Their portrayal of Thor is completely wrong, not to mention their _physics_. I'm not going to see it. Go see it by yourselves."

"You don't go to see comic book movies for the _physics_," Stiles said, flailing his arms in her direction. "Besides, this has Chris Hemsworth and his _abs_, Lydia. And Tom Hiddleston. You cannot tell me you don't want to watch Tom Hiddleston with gorgeous long black hair."

"Gravity had perfect physics," she told him, peeved. She ignored the parts about Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston, because she had nothing to argue against that. Instead she crossed her arms at him and watched as he shuddered, looking horrified.

"The preview for that movie almost gave him a panic attack," Derek explained, hand landing on Stiles' shoulder. Lydia could see the squeeze Derek gave him, which was just- no. Lydia didn't want to know why Derek knew that the preview for Gravity had nearly given Stiles a panic attack.

"See," she said instead, "you two have gone to movies together before. Just suck it up and go together again."

"We can't," Derek said. He was wearing an artistically faded Thor t-shirt, one that was bright ass red. Lydia despaired for him. She almost missed the days where he was trying to kill her or moping around in a disgusting train car and biting teenagers.

"Boyd and Erica are going with Isaac and Allison," Stiles said, before she could ask _why not_ in the best imitation of her mother that she could do. "And if we go with them without you, they're going to call it a triple date."

"I don't want to go on a triple date with Erica, Boyd, Isaac, and Allison," Derek added. He held up something in his right hand. "We brought you a plaid shirt," he said, like it was some kind of incentive to change her mind.

"So you could be Jane," Stiles added helpfully.

Lydia scowled back at them. "I have red hair, you morons. I can't be Jane with red hair, that's terrible."

It took her several seconds to realize her mistake, but by then they were already grinning from ear to ear, identical expressions of utter glee. It should have looked wrong on Derek's face, but it didn't. Lydia looked to the ceiling again and wondered how this was her life.

"You _do _like Thor," Stiles crowed. He reached through the open doorway and grabbed her wrist, hauling her out of her house and onto the front porch. She yelped, tipping dangerously in the heels she had yet to abandon. They would ambush her directly after she got home from school, wouldn't they, she mused, as Derek reached out and caught her. His hand was big and warm on her waist, the other coming up to cup the opposite elbow. How had Stiles even had time to change clothes? He hadn't been wearing that at school, Lydia was sure.

"Lydia," her mother called out, concern obvious in her voice. "Lydia, are you okay? Who's at the front door?"

"I'm fine," she shouted back. Derek winced and she scrunched her nose in apology, turning back toward the house and stepping away so she could talk to her mother. Her mother stuck her head around the corner of the hallway door, her eyebrows inching up her head at the sight of the boys behind her.

"Going somewhere, baby?"

Behind her Stiles bounced on the toes of his Converse and Derek shifted awkwardly and tried not to look like a twenty-something year old creeper who hung out with teenagers. Lydia glanced back and rolled her eyes at him, but had to admit to herself that the Thor t-shirt helped. The stubble did not. It was a damn good thing her mother was a very liberal person.

"Yeah, I am," Lydia said. "The new Thor movie came out. I'll be home late."

Stiles whooped and hollered behind her. Her mother smiled at her, tipping her head to the side. "Have fun," she said, before turning to disappear back to her office. Lydia turned around, eying the boys critically. Derek raised the shirt back to her, plaid and slightly awful, but the sleeve was soft.

"You might want to change shoes," Derek said. She narrowed her eyes at him and he shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Jane doesn't wear high heels."

"He's got a point. And jeans. Go put on jeans."

"I miss the days where you lived in an abandoned building," Lydia told Derek over her shoulder as she walked back inside. Both boys followed her, flopping on the couch when she turned to go upstairs.

"Lies," Derek said, grinning. Lydia huffed and went to find a pair of jeans and sneakers.

"Aw," Erica said, later, when they met them at the store down the street from the movie theater, the one with the cheap candy and family sized packs of Twizzlers. "You brought a third wheel on our triple date."

"Not a triple date," Derek and Stiles said together. From in between them Lydia smiled to herself, private and amused. "Now it's a group outing," they continued to insist, when Isaac raised an eyebrow. Allison, curled into his side and wearing her boyfriend's jacket, rolled her eyes.

"If it's a group outing, where's Scott?"

"His abuela fell down the stairs this morning," Stiles reminded Boyd, head held high. "We're to tell him nothing of what happens in the movie, but lord it over his head all the same."

"Where's Aiden," Allison asked. It took Lydia a second before she realized that the question was directed at her. She resisted the urge to make a face and shrugged.

"Who cares," she responded. "We're taking a break right now."

"You should break up with him," Derek said. Everyone turned to look at him, which made him hunch his shoulders awkwardly. The tips of his ears turned pink and Lydia was horrified to find that cute.

Derek Hale was not cute, she told herself sternly. Derek Hale was bammin' slammin' bootyiliocus.

_Oh my god_, she thought, horrified and frozen in the middle of the store. _I've been spending too much time with Erica and Stiles. _

"Derek's got a point," Stiles said. He was turned around and crouched on the floor, cape trailing after him, his fingers tracing the edges of the shelf. He was treating the choice of candies like a serious matter. Lydia watched him prod at a bag of Tootsie Rolls and decided that if he bought them she was getting new friends.

"You've got to be kidding me," she said, at loss for anything else to say. "I refuse to discuss whether or not I'm breaking up with Aiden while you're wearing a cape."

"Sorry to bring it up," Allison said, uncomfortable. Lydia waved a hand at her before turning back to Stiles, who was _still touching the Tootsie Rolls_.

"If you buy those I'm leaving you here," Derek said, from directly over her shoulder. Stiles grimaced at the candy and then patted them, whispering _another time, preciouses_ as he stood back up. Lydia leaned back against Derek because he was there. If anyone asked, she was seeking body heat. It was November after all, she consoled herself; it was very cold out and no one could stand within two feet of Derek and argue that he wasn't a human furnace.

"Thank god," she said, once Stiles had abandoned the Tootsie Rolls. "Those things are disgusting."

"You should have super senses and eat one," Derek said, grinning a little when she turned around. She grimaced at him and then surveyed the candy shelved behind him.

"Huh," Erica said, from behind both of them. They turned, only to find her watching them curiously. Boyd was standing at her side, arms laden with one of everything Erica hadn't been allowed to have before the Bite. "It could work," she told her boyfriend.

"They'd kill one another in a week," he argued.

"Or rule the world."

Lydia watched, baffled, as Boyd made a face. "I honestly don't know which would be worse."

"I think it'd be kind of hot," Isaac shouted, from one aisle over.

"What would be hot," Lydia heard Allison ask. There was a pause and then behind her Derek went stiff. She glanced at him, only to find that he was turning away, head ducked and ears red.

"I don't want to know," Lydia told Erica, upon turning around and finding the blond girl grinning at her gleefully. She had a pretty good idea what they were all talking about, but she didn't care. Erica opened her mouth, probably to try and change her mind, but she cut her off. "Break or not, I have a boyfriend."

"Derek's right," Boyd said, "you should dump that guy."

"I'm not dumping Aiden," she repeated. She wasn't sure how she had fallen so far. Last year she would have spent the night curled against Jackson, planning that weekend's party and now there she was, going to see a comic book movie, wearing an old pair of jeans, sneakers, and one of Stiles' plaid shirts.

"He tried to kill us," Isaac shouted.

Boyd snorted. "Almost succeeded with me," he added. The statement was bitter, edged with darkness, and Lydia felt her stomach twist.

"You tried to kill me," she said. She had meant to tell him she wouldn't let Aiden hurt them, but apparently Stiles' habit of blurting things out was contagious. _Great. _Boyd and Erica shifted, a little bit guilty, and from one aisle over Isaac shouted, "OUR BAD."

Lydia told herself that didn't make up for the way they tried to poison her and then kill her, back when they were still looking for the kanima. It wasn't really working. Once upon a time Lydia had been better at lying to herself, but then monsters had become real and she had found out she wasn't human. The silence that followed was awkward and stiff until Stiles came back, arms full of candy, with Derek on his heels.

"Seriously, Lyds," Stiles said, looking serious despite the plastic helmet and foam hammer and flowing cape, "dump that guy. The guy's spent more time inside his brother than he has inside you, okay. A, that's weird. B, he's kind of a dick, and not in a roundabout charming way either. C, I saw him drink a Monster the other day."

"Stiles, you drink Monsters," Boyd pointed out.

"Monsters don't affect werewolves," Derek answered, while Stiles tried to dump everything in his arms on the counter in front of the register without dropping anything. "Which means Aiden likes the taste of them."

"Monsters taste like piss," Erica said, nose crinkling.

"That's the point! You can't trust anyone who _likes_ the taste of Monster!"

This conversation had gotten completely out of control. "The movie starts in an hour," she said, because she desperately needed to change the topic before Stiles and his strange reasons changed her mind. She wasn't dumping Aiden over an energy drink, she told herself sternly.

The girl from their school manning the register gave them a weird look, but if it was for their candy selection or their conversation, Lydia honestly couldn't tell. Derek paid for their candy, swatting Stiles' hand away from the plastic bag when he tried to reach for it.

"I got you Butterfingers," Derek told Lydia.

"I don't even want to know why you know that's my favorite," she told him. Stiles tried to sneak a Reese's out of the bag and she swatted him on Derek's behalf. "Give me that," Lydia said, taking the plastic bag out of Derek's hand. She shoved it in her bag before swinging it up and over her shoulder, having committed entirely too much to her Jane look for her comfort. She had forgone her usual purse and used a shoulder backpack instead.

"I like your Jane outfit," Allison told her, when they were standing in line for the movie. They were toward the front, because the morons had shown up at her house at _five_ and the movie didn't start until _eight_. Which was a weird stupid thing the movie theater was doing; why premiere the movie at eight on the day before the official release? What happened to midnight releases?

"I like your Darcy outfit," Lydia replied. Allison grinned and tugged shyly at the hat she had pulled over her dark hair.

"This is gonna have a Captain America 2 preview, right," Isaac asked, curling an arm around Allison's shoulders.

"It should," Boyd said, frowning. He was sitting on the floor, Erica in his lap. They were both wearing Avengers shirts, which Lydia hadn't noticed earlier. Isaac's shirt had Loki on it instead of Thor. Lydia wondered where you even _got_ Loki shirts. The internet, probably.

"Oh man," Stiles said, bouncing again. Several people had already stopped them to tell Stiles they loved his cape. Stiles had been thrilled, like a kid on Halloween. Lydia had given up telling herself it wasn't endearing. "I cannot _wait_ for Captain America 2. _Bucky Barnes_, guys. Do you know how much _drama_ there is going to be? And Nick motherfucking Fury, man. Oh jeez. I cannot _wait_!"

"Don't forget Black Widow," Lydia said. She had given up pretending she didn't know which Avengers were which. That had gotten boring on the car ride downtown, much to Derek and Stiles' glee.

"Huh," Derek said. He had been standing beside her, looking off down the hall, but he turned to her, looking down at her. He dragged his eyes from the top of her head down to her toes and then back up, pointedly, and Lydia found she was equally thrilled and wary of the glint in Derek's eyes. Then he said, "Natasha has red hair," and the thrill warming her stomach turned to dread.

"Oh my god," Stiles said, spinning to face her. His face was lit up like the skyline of New York City at night, all glowing and warm. "Lydia," he shrieked, reaching for her.

"No," she replied, but she already knew she wasn't going to win this one. She tried to step back anyway, but her back bumped into Derek's chest.

"All you would have to do is straighten it," Derek said from behind her. He tugged at a strand of her hair, like casual hair touching was a thing they did. Lydia turned around and swatted at his hand, ignoring Erica's eyebrow waggle from her perch near their feet.

"I am not going to dress up as Black Widow when Captain America 2 comes out," she argued.

"Oh come _on_," Stiles wheedled. He stepped closer, boxing her more firmly behind his body and Derek's. The people in front and behind them in line tried to look like they weren't paying an awful lot of attention to their discussion. Lydia recognized some of them, from school and from around town. She tried to dreg up the horror that should cause, but she just couldn't.

"It'll be fun," Stiles insisted. "You'd made the _bestest _Black Widow!"

"Bestest isn't a word," Derek said, frowning a little. "But he's right."

"No," she repeated.

Stiles sulked for a second, but then Derek patted his shoulder and shot her a grin. "We've got time," Derek said, like their lives weren't in danger every other week. He said it like he was sure they were going to live until April. It was probably the first seriously optimistic thing Lydia had ever heard Derek say. She almost wanted to agree just because of that alone.

"No," she said, like the third time was the charm. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, glad for once that she was wearing sneakers. She had no idea how long it would be before they were let in the theater.

"I'll be Black Widow," Erica offered. Her skirt was hiked up her legs, but she obviously didn't care. Boyd had taken to glaring down anyone who got caught looking for longer than three seconds, anyway, which made Lydia suspect Erica was doing it on purpose. Erica liked riling Boyd.

"Hawkeye," Allison called, from the far side of Stiles. Lydia glanced over, only to find Allison and Isaac were sitting on the floor too.

"No, no, no," Stiles said, leaning around her to look at Erica. Lydia leaned back, her shoulder brushing Derek's again. "You've gotta be Agent 13. Boyd can be Falcon, I guess, and Isaac…"

"I'm gonna be Coulson," Isaac said, like this decision was made a lifetime ago.

"I don't think Coulson's gonna be in Captain America 2, Isaac," his girlfriend said, grinning.

"I don't care," the blond said. Lydia watched as Allison laughed quietly under her breath and ten kissed Isaac on the cheek, chaste and fond.

"I'm not being Black Widow," Lydia insisted. She, Stiles, and Derek were the only ones in their group still standing. She imaged leaning against one of them, letting their arm curl over her shoulders as she sunk against their body heat. The problem was, she decided, she didn't really want to choose which one she leaned against, so she didn't move. The movie theater's lobby was cold and every second that past made Lydia regret the decision to wear the plaid shirt and leave her jacket at home.

Derek gave her his sad scowl again. She was pretty sure it was his version of puppy dog eyes. Puppy dog eyes had never once worked on Lydia Martin, but she was beginning to think there was a first time for everything.

"I am not wearing a catsuit," she said. Which, she reflected, was not a no.

"Dibs on being Steve Rogers," Stiles shouted. He reached around her casually, poking at Derek's arm where it was crossed over his chest. Erica made more exaggerated wiggling motions with her eyebrows at Lydia, which she tried to ignore.

"You're the Winter Solider then, bud," Stiles told Derek. Derek smiled at Stiles and over Stiles' shoulder Lydia watched Isaac pretend to gag. She probably would have felt like gagging too, but the sight of Derek smiling had kind of stolen her breath. Stiles' quirked grin wasn't so bad either, she confessed to herself, only half listening to Derek agree, but only if he didn't have to grow his hair all the way out to his shoulders. By the time the ushers let them in the theater Isaac had joined Erica in making ridiculous and suggestive eyebrow motions and Lydia had given in and was pressed against Derek's shoulder. The end of Stiles' cape curled over her shoulders like a blanket, held in place by Derek's huge arm curled over her shoulders.

There was a certain charm to it, she decided, after Isaac and Stiles had finished arguing over seating and they were all hunched on the chairs. The excitement, the themed shirts that spanned the room, the chatter and hum of voices all voices their theories, the bits of knowledge they had struggled together from the various trailers and horded to their chests. It wasn't the same charm as Jackson's familiar bed or the easy weight of expectation that came with planning that weekend's party, but it was nice.

"I'm still not wearing a catsuit," Lydia hissed in Stiles' ear, after the lights went out and the Captain America 2 trailer played, as promised. Stiles dissolved into a batch of excited giggles that had her giggling along too, but Derek leaned over, his arm bent against the back of her seat, and answered her.

"Deal," he whispered back. And for the next one hundred and twenty minutes, it didn't matter that she wasn't as popular in school as she had been, or that she wasn't human, or that her current boyfriend had tried to kill them, or that there was a darkness around her best friend's heart that was slowing keeping her from sleeping at night. Nothing mattered excepting finding out if Jane lived and if Loki turned on Thor. Life was good.


End file.
